Shelly Rudolph

AUGUST MOONSONG

August moon, melts my heart
How long I have waited, for this final thaw
August moon, spills me out
In a pool of sonnets, while the breeze cools on by
Just you and I, August moon.

Take my heart, such as it is
Pieced together, with winters we won’t mention
Take my song, to your lips
Broken and parched, such as it is
Such as it is…
Just you and I, August moon

Lift me up
Please, just drink me in
Gulp me or sip me whatever you choose
There’s nothing but this game of me to lose

Once I was lost, now am found
Or tonight I believe
That all is this is true

For you and I, August moon
For you and I, August moon
Just you and I, Just you and I
Now let us kiss.

DAY 1: THE POWER OF MUSIC
I was taking my own medicine this morning, meaning: singing this song in hopes of centering, of calming my anxious  body-mind when it hit me: going slowly is like a whole body, whole being prayer. Rushing about, I ignore the truth that every little molecule, every little morsel of life - this sink, this toothbrush, this monkey mind - is pure love, pure magic, truly a gift. I can try to make myself see and feel this truth by adding a gratitude mantra to my already overloaded list of self-help to-do’s OR I can simply hum this song and suddenly… I am breathing and smiling, living and loving true. Ahhh the power of poetry and song!! So delicious.

That’s why I’m committed to “following my passion,” and traveling this rocky path of being an artist. It’s not my flame that keeps me burning, it’s the flame of The Soul, which ignites us all. May your souls shine bright today lovelies! Thank you for listening. xoxo

DAY 1. FIGHTING LIONS WITH FEATHERS 

How to Keep It All Together in “Times Like These”
The only way I know is to not.

Rather, to let it all go.Let the heart break over and over

To reveal that it can never truly be broken.
Let the soul fall down, dig deep

To unearth the shards of fear, of shame, of doubt, of fury

And then invite the world wholly in
Invite the world to melt in

To finally and holy dissolve in

To the sweet amber core of our heart’s treasure
Where we are all one.
Hold me gentle close, won’t you?

DAY 39: FEAR AS ALLY

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.” Well maybe not everyday! But yes, more often then not. Why?

Well, I’m finding more and more that what I dream of doing with my life, what I feel called to do by Life, is also what terrifies me. As if fear is at the threshold of “following my bliss.”

I do not think that this arrangement is by accident nor is it some sort of twisted joke played on us little humans.

Fear lurks at the “threshold of bliss” because we will do all we must to get through to the other side, to answer this call of our soul. We will meet fear head on because we have no alternative and in this true meeting we will discover that fear is an ally.

Fear, like everything, is made of love. Fear wants to be transformed into love, to be sent home to love.

Fear invites us to grow, to stretch, to love that which we have called unlovable.

What power we reclaim in this alliance!

So. Here is to following your soul siren’s call to a heroic adventure of wild love and bliss! See you on the other side ;)
Xoxox

All At Once

This exquisite fullness

This preciously painful awareness

Of the sweetness that is All

So tenuous so strenuous to pretend otherwise

This piercing heartbreak of beauty

Leaves dancing, mouths lying

Humanity

Trying, trying, trying

All calls me to tears to laughter to furrowed brow

To the lure of wine, to the most sublime heartbreak

As the beloved, in its mysterious guises, pieces me back together

This human heart mends in the most crucial places

Ready to fall again, already falling

Already following the call

Of blossoming rocks

Of silent singing

Of echoless bewilderment

How can it all be at once?

DAY 33: HULLABOO
Is this where we are? Day 33? In my non-sequential journey here? Who knew keeping the numbers straight would be the biggest challenge for me? Well, I should have know that I suppose. Straight lines are surely not my strong suit.

Thank you Wild lovelies for being here with me on this meandering leap towards love and connection. More to come as we circle ‘round to Day 40, always buzzing about Love’s sweet HULLABOO. Xoxo !

TRUTH BE TOLD

Today I find myself Lost
Searching for faith
Pawing through my bags of promise
Searching for tricks
to tame the mind, to soothe the soul but Truth Be Told
I just want to lose it all

I just want to dance all night,
drink too much and fall in loose inappropriate love
Again and again and again.
Yes.
I just want to lose it all

Because Keeping It Together
is much too hard
And how can it be so hard
when I should/could be blessing every moment that I am free to walk my own self down this great good luck garden path life of mine

Oh Yes.
I know that I should know what I know

I know the foolishness of squandering any -every moment of This.
I know the shame of drowning in a sea of my own making.
I know by heart the story of the mermaid who forgot how to swim.

And yet
And yet
Today I find myself sinking.
Grasping for my Mary Poppins remedies and they just ain’t working no mo’ no mo’
I just want.

I just want to lose it all
At the hands of an over-perfumed, over-endowed languid lover who knows how to lead.

The promise of spring…

DAY 27: The Sky’s Soft Skirt

“Awake awhile. It does not have to be forever. Right now. One step on the sky’s soft skirt would be enough. Awake awhile. Just one True moment of Love will last for days.” - Hafiz

Good morning blue sky lovelies! So grateful for you all sweet hearts. Enjoy enjoy xoxox

MORNING SONG

Morning song
Sparrow sonnets
Spirits shimmer free

Winter fog
Dreamtime lingers
Nestled in stillness

Tree mantras
Guide us inward
Soaring on leafy wings

Bursting with love at the seams
I’ve outgrown my worry coats
I’ve shed these fear gloves

Tenderly I yell
Skirts above my knees
Hooray for this day!

Blowing kisses at the mud colored prophet birds
Opening the door
Everything is more and nonetheless there is nothing that I need

Sparrow sonnets
Color my day silver blue
Held in life’s endless embrace

And why not
And why not
And why not
Sing too?